Ok, ok, I fully admit that the title of this blog post might seem a bit cheap. I had to do something about falling behind in the PBP, however, and well, here we are. But I promise this entire post isn’t just an excuse – I also have a religious story to tell.
First things first: a lot of huge life changes have been taking place for me recently…Jack and I moved to an entirely different apartment a week ago (in a safer and overall much nicer part of our city neighborhood), and if you’ve ever moved before, you will know how much work that can be – the packing, the cleaning, the actual moving, the unpacking, the re-arranging, the cleaning again, the settling in…it takes time. We’re finally in the “settling in” stage, which is a good thing, but we’re tired. Exhausted, really. And for me, at least, the work weeks are still the same – I’m not complaining about having a job, of course, it just adds to the fact that I have a lot to do. Jack gets a few months of summer break (he’s a teacher), so lucky him! At least he will be around to help me with home-chores now.
Speaking of home-life, aside from the move, we have also recently made a new addition to our little family: a puppy named Kora. Kora is an Entlebucher Mountain Dog and we are so excited and happy to have her in our lives now. The only thing is: puppies are a lot of work! They require constant attention, training, and affection. Not that we aren’t 100% happy to do these things, it’s just been adding to the hectic nature of our schedules, and it’s been tiring too…we have to get up a lot earlier than usual to walk her, for example. We knew what we were getting into, however, and I have no intention or desire to complain…I’m just trying to paint a picture for you of how busy I have been lately…and why perhaps this blog got neglected for a week or so.
But now for my story!
The coming of Kora has brought a new feeling with it, one that I have not really experienced yet before…and that is a feeling of love. “But wait, don’t you love Jack?” Yes, of course. And I love my friends and family dearly, too. But this is a new kind of love, a different love: a protective love. For the first time, I have someone who relies entirely on me (and Jack, but when he’s not there, then just me) to take care of her…a puppy is like a human baby in many respects – for those of you who own beloved pets, you will know what I mean. The pet becomes like a child. And especially when you are a young couple like Jack and I (in our early 20s), the first serious pet (a cat or dog, usually) becomes well…like baby practice. In part, we view this as a test-run to see if we can take care of another living being full-time. Now, yes, of course, a child will someday be even more work than this puppy…but I guess the point I’m trying to make is: I’m having new feelings.
As silly as it might sound, Kora is making me feel motherly in ways I never knew I could feel, or was ready to feel. I want to protect her, I dote on her, I worry about her – all in ways that are slightly different than I would feel towards, say, Jack. Kora is my baby girl. I want her to be happy, healthy, and comfortable in our home. I know that someday – perhaps even someday soon, in the next four or five years to come – I will have human children, and this feeling of motherliness will only intensify and grow.
I wonder, if this is perhaps the reason why Aset has recently entered my life.
I have read other accounts of Aset coming to mothers, as a motherly figure. Yes, She is the Throne, the Mistress of Magic, Queen of Secrets, but She is also a loving mother – Her love for Her son Heru is legendary. Hethert might be the Lady of Love, as in passion and romance and desire, but, at least for me, Aset signifies love of kin, especially love of children (by parents). A few weeks or so ago, right before we moved, I started having dreams about Aset…and I started sensing Her around me. I made a quick sketch one night, without really paying attention to what I was drawing, and before I knew it, I had sketched out a rough drawing of Aset Herself. I soon received the urging to paint said drawing. I have since begun the painting. It has become a very, very important project to me…out of nowhere.
Out of nowhere…
Do things really happen “out of nowhere?” I ask myself this all the time. What are coincidences? What meaning can we draw from life – how can we uphold a balance between healthy skepticism and allowing ourselves to believe in signs?
I have decided to believe in this sign: that Aset is here to stay. I just have this feeling about it. You may know what I mean, if you’re someone who has also had feelings about Deities before. Intuition. A deep sense of understanding. Don’t ask me how I know, I just know. Kora is only the beginning. I’m to be a mother someday, in a future I’m not quite ready for just yet, but that I am now beginning to inch towards. I am meant to lead a home, to protect my kin, to be in a position of leadership…I have spent so much of my life a quiet scholar, a worker of languages, a girl just trying to succeed in her chosen career. “Djehuty has come to you, awake when you hear His words.” I have done His work. Hethert taught me about loving myself, and this I have also done…I have taken the first step on that journey, as well.
Aset is here to teach me about motherhood. The lesson will be a long one, perhaps one that never ends. The practical use of Her teachings may not come for a few years yet, but She has begun to make Her way into my life.
And I think I am ready to accept Her.
Aset will embrace you in peace
she will drive away the opponent from your path,
Place your face to the West
that you may illumine the Two Lands with electrum
The sleepers have stood up to look at you,
breathing the air and seeing your face
like the rising of the sun-disk in its horizon,
Their hearts are pleased with what you have done.
To you belong eternity and everlastingness.” –The Book of Coming Forth by Day